Being the parent of a teen who is depressed is hard. It is hard because you want to help them and “fix” all their problems. You want to make all their negative feelings disappear so they can be happy.
It is natural to feel this way, after all, you are their parent. Unfortunately, it is not realistic. You can’t just snap your fingers and make everything better. But, there are some other things you can do to help in their healing.
Once you have determined that your teen may be struggling with depression, let them know you are here for them for anything they need. Then, help to get them the necessary mental health care. Schedule a visit with a counselor or therapist, either in-person or online. It may take a couple of visits for your teen to feel comfortable but it is the first step in getting them back to feeling well.
At Rooted & Rising we work with children, teens, and parents in Pennsylvania who are trying to navigate this difficult time. We have created a list of six things you can do to help your depressed teen.
1.) Be a listing ear, but don’t try to ‘fix’ them
Depression isn’t something that can be fixed with a kiss or a few kind words. It is not something that will change overnight by picking up a new hobby or clearing a schedule. It takes coping tools and long-term strategies that will help your teen to adjust over time.
What your teen needs more than anything right now is a non-judgmental ear, a safe space they can turn to share all the feelings and thoughts they are struggling with right now. Because your teen is depressed it does not mean there is something “wrong” with them. They are not broken. They just need some patience, care, and guidance. Depression is not a choice your child is making. They can’t just “snap out of it.”
Work to establish a relationship with your teen where they know you are a safe space for them. Let them know they can come to you without you jumping into action.
2.) Be Supportive
Now more than ever your teen needs support. They need to know they are not alone. You are on their team, there to cheer them on as they go. Work on building empathy for your teen. Put yourself in their shoes. It might be frustrating and hard on you, as a parent, to see your child sad or irritable all the time but these are signs they need your support right now. Try to avoid getting angry with them for shutting themselves in their room or snapping at those around them. Be compassionate without being emotional. Depression can make even the smallest of things feel impossible.
Instead, validate their emotions, not their unhealthy behavior. Say things like “It seems like you have been upset lately. Is that true?” Show them you notice and you are here to listen.
3.) Direct them to help
As mentioned at the beginning of this post, one of the best things you can do for your teen is to direct them to the proper mental health care. Set up an appointment for them at a counselor or therapist’s office. Involve them. Ask their preferences. Let them read bios and join in on the selection process. Reach out to school counselors so they are aware your child may need to turn to them. Help to make an open door policy so that no matter where your child is or what they are going through they have someone to turn to.
4.) Recognize the positive
Depression can make even the smallest of things feel impossible. That is why you need to be your teen’s cheerleader. Notice the small steps they make and tell them how proud you are of them. It could be getting up on time to go to school or deciding to attend a gathering with friends. Or, even telling a joke during dinner. Any little sign of progress deserves recognition.
5.) Educate yourself
Learn the warning signs of depression, self-harming, and suicide. Learning as much as you can about depression is going to help you approach your teen in the best way possible. Being aware of warning signs will help you to be able to guide them to help before it is too late. Keep the number for the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline. It is 800-273-8255 and operates 24/7.
6.) Don’t forget about you
You are likely consumed with worry and concern for your teen right now, understandably so. But, it is important that you also take care of yourself. You can’t be the best support for your teen if you are running on empty. Check-in with yourself. Consider scheduling a counseling appointment for you alone where you can share your troubles with a licensed professional.
Ready to begin counseling in PA?
The professionally trained and licensed counselors at Rooted & Rising Therapy in Bridgeville have openings. Our practice specializes in treating individuals through years of experience, we’re confident that no problem is too great to overcome. Through therapy, there is always a way to address the issues you face and learn coping strategies to help you both right now and in the future. Just call our office at (412) 228-8489 or email us at info@rootedandrisingtherapy.com to get started to feeling better today. We are here for you.