The holidays can be the most difficult time of the year for those struggling to cope with grief and the loss of loved ones. It is this time of the year when we are immersed in family gatherings and social activities, that there is a stark reminder of what is missing.
The difficulty of these holiday months can cause people to turn to unhealthy coping mechanisms—overindulging in unhealthy substances like alcohol, sweets, or caffeine, withdrawing from friends and family, and avoiding activities once enjoyed. It might seem like everywhere you turn there is a reminder of what has been lost.
At Rooted & Rising, we understand loss and grief. Our counselors and therapists are here to help you during this difficult time.
If you are coping with loss this holiday season, here are some tips to help you cope:
1.) Allow Yourself to Grieve
Ignoring your feelings isn’t going to make them go away. In fact, they will likely just compound over time. Allow yourself to feel whatever it is you are feeling right now.
It is not fun to feel pain and sadness. It is arguably one of the worst things you will ever feel in life. But, it is necessary to allow yourself to grieve so that you can heal. You will find a way to cope with grief and enjoy the holidays again, but first, you have to experience the anguish of going through them without your loved one.
2.) Avoid Triggers
Allowing yourself to grieve does not mean you have to torture yourself. If certain things are too painful, you don’t have to be part of them. Maybe there was a gathering you and your loved one hosted every year or an outing you went on together. It is ok to not continue with that tradition this year. If putting up the tree is too painful or sending cards, it is ok to forego those tasks. Listen to yourself.
3.) Set Boundaries
There might be a lot of people in your life who are trying to help you right now. They might want to talk about things you aren’t ready to talk about. They also might expect you to continue doing things you used to. Set boundaries.
It is not up to you to please everyone. Others might pressure you to attend every holiday gathering or participate in every family tradition, but you have the power. You can say “no.” If there is something you know will be too painful, pass on it this time around. If there are conversations you want to avoid at gatherings, give family members a heads up. You don’t have to explain yourself to anyone.
4.) Have an Exit Plan
If you do decide to attend a holiday gathering, have an exit plan. Drive yourself so that you can leave whenever things get to be too much. Have a friend you can call if things are too overwhelming.
5.) Don’t Forget About Self-Care
Self-care is crucial to keeping you mentally and physically healthy, especially now. Ask yourself what you need right now? What would make you feel better for a brief moment or two? Maybe it is a walk or a sunny vacation getaway.
6.) Make New Memories
Old traditions can be too difficult after the loss of a loved one, but no one said you can’t make new ones. Creating a new memory with those you love can be a great way of honoring a lost loved one and can help to foster healing. Examples could be instead of hosting a cookie exchange, going ice skating instead. Maybe you choose to stay in and order food instead of cooking an extravagant meal.
7.) Do Something Kind for Another
One of the best ways to make ourselves feel better is to help others. It is good for our spirits to help those in need and can be great in helping cope with grief. Whether you donate food to a food bank, make a craft for nursing home residents, or volunteer at a shelter, use your grieving energy for something positive and reap the heartfelt benefits.
8.) Get Help
You don’t have to go through this difficult time on your own. Visiting with a counselor, therapist, or other trained mental health professional can give you a safe space to share your feelings and concerns. And, to heal.
Ready to begin counseling in PA?
The professionally trained and licensed counselors at Rooted & Rising Therapy in Pittsburgh have openings. Our practice specializes in treating individuals through years of experience, we’re confident that no problem is too great to overcome. Through therapy, there is always a way to address the issues you face and learn coping strategies to help you both right now and in the future. Just call our office at (412) 228-8489 or email us at info@rootedandrisingtherapy.com to get started to feeling better today. We are here for you.