“When you come out of the storm you won’t be the same person that walked in. That’s what the storm is all about.” – Haruki Murakami
I often hear clients say “I just want things to go back to normal” after facing some challenging life event. When my now 6 year old son was 14 months old, he was diagnosed with a rare genetic disease. We knew that it was a possibility that he had this particular disease, Cystinosis, for a week before we had confirmation. Three nephrologists walked into his hospital room, as I sat with him before visitors came to see us for the day, and confirmed that he did, in fact, have this disease. I cried and called my husband to tell him. It began a new journey for us. I spent a couple of years pushing through and taking care of my boy and when things began to get easier in taking care of him and our lives didn’t seem so complicated anymore, anxiety presented for me. That’s why we often stay busy and distract ourselves when life gets hard because it’s easier to push through then to sit still in the silence. I did that, without realizing what I was doing. It hit me and I knew that I had some work to do for myself. My work was to take care of myself and to be aware of the stories I told myself and accepting myself and my feelings.
One day I was watching Oprah’s Super Soul Sunday show and she was interviewing an author and poet by the name of Mark Nepo. His interview was wonderful and I loved listening to him speak of his journey in having a brain tumor. In speaking of his own diagnosis, he said “I walked through a door and could never turn back…” I sobbed upon hearing this. It felt so true to me. I remember the day that the doctors walked in. I had knowledge that was not confirmed until that moment and it changed my entire life.
For those of you who do not know me, my son and my family personally I will tell you that he is doing well and that we are all doing very well. The disease my son was diagnosed with that day has been a small part of his journey, our journey, and it has brought blessings into our life.
That traumatic time in your life will change you. You will never be the same, but that does not mean that your life can’t be amazing and beautiful. When it knocks you down, say “yes, I’m down right now but it won’t be forever.” Let yourself lay down while you need to and be open, in each moment, that you may be able to get up. Take care of yourself and seek out help in moving through challenges. And be present, friends. When you feel terrible, look back to my post about how to be mindful. It will give you a moment of peacefulness and contentment. Try not to judge yourself and your journey. You are doing your best. I don’t judge myself for spending years just pushing through. It’s what I needed to do at the time. It served me until it didn’t.
Lauren