My husband and I decided to take our two boys, 7 and 4, to drive golf balls and to play miniature golf. We have been blessed with two little boys with such different personalities. My older son is very laid back, cautious and moves through life with intention. My younger son wakes up with a full energy tank (my energy tank builds up throughout the morning which means I have to practice patience). He moves through life with passion and excitement. As he set his ball down at the first hole of the miniature golf course, he barely looked up and with one arm he wildly hit the ball and finished with a fancy spin. My husband reminded him to look at the ball and to set his body up, as was discussed when they were driving golf balls. We went to the second hole and he began to do the same thing. My husband stopped him and helped him to position his body and reminded him to look at the ball while he took his swing. We both generally operate by the idea of letting the boys have fun and not take these kinds of things so seriously but as I watched my husband redirect our little guy, I could see the calm state of his body and his movement with intention. It struck me that this was a beautiful learning opportunity for him and for his dad and me.
I told my husband, as we continued to play, that we need to respond in the same way in other areas the way we are responding to golfing. It is certainly not unusual for a 4 year old to be impulsive. But, we can do our children a great service by modeling and talking with them about stopping, noticing and being mindful. Instead of yelling out “stop!” or “pay attention!” we responded to him by saying “pause. Get your body ready. Look for the hole…”
What if we teach our children to pause at the door before we leave to think about where we are going and if there is anything we are missing? Or what if we encourage them to take a moment before answering a question to consider the answer? As adults, we are not always good about pausing to assess what’s next. We can take for granted that our children will learn to be less impulsive as they get older (often they do with maturity) but most of us are pretty impulsive in many ways. We move through life mindlessly instead of mindfully. And I bet, in taking the moment to support them in moving through life with intention, we will begin to do the same for ourselves.
Lauren =)
