If I am being honest, I will admit that the reason that we are running late is because I spent time scrolling through my social media account and not because my boys weren’t moving as quickly as I wanted.
If I am being honest, the reason I am allowing them to play video games for longer than I told them to is because I welcome the silence as I making dinner in the kitchen.
If I am being honest, the reason that I huffed and lectured when my son asked for a snack 15 minutes before bed time is because I was tired and ready for the day to end and not because he “always waits until right before bed.”
This evening, when my son asked me for a snack right before bed time, I reacted in a way that I often do when he asks right before it’s time for bed. I lectured him. “Why do you always do this? You wait until right before bed because you are too busy watching videos and playing games before that.” I huffed and puffed and gave him the snack. His response was “thank you Mommy. Sorry I made things harder for you.” You just sighed, didn’t you? Me too… I said, “can I tell you the truth Landon? You didn’t make things harder for me. I know that you feel hungry and I am happy for you to have a snack. I am just tired so when you ask me to do something, I don’t want to do it so I get frustrated.” He told me that he feels that way too sometimes.
I am a mom before I am a therapist, and I am human. The best gift that I can give my children is to increase my own self awareness, take care of myself and do my own work so that I can parent consciously. Parenting can be a tough job because there is a lot on the line but it an also be very rewarding. Believe it or not, messing up and processing it with them feels rewarding for me. So often, especially with my older son, I see that look on his face as if he totally gets it.
“The parenting journey holds the potential to be a spiritually regenerative experience for both parent and child, where every moment is a meeting of spirits, and both parent and child appreciate that each dances on a spiritual path that’s unique, holding hands and yet alone.” – Dr. Shefali Tsabary